And Now We Wait...

I'm done! I had my last day of treatment last Wednesday, and everything went well. I'll have a 30 day follow up appointment next month, and another in 90 days. 

The 30 day appointment is basically a check-in. My doctor was happy with the progress to this point, and said the tumor and lymph nodes will continue to shrink for the next 90 days. He didn't specify exactly what the appointment would entail, but I suspect a pelvic exam and maybe a CT or x-ray. I've read that's about the time frame where you can start using the dilators to ward off the vaginal stenosis, so maybe I'll be getting my fancy medical dildos. Tee hee. 

The 90 day appointment will be the one where I get a PET scan and we'll know what cancer is left, if any. The primary concern seems to be the lymph node. Doc mentioned that if it's still lighting up on the PET scan, I may need surgery to get it removed. If that's the worst thing to happen, I'm okay with that.

So now I'm just trying to be optimistic while tempering my expectations, which is a weird line to walk. I'm celebrating the end of treatment, but still have that lingering question mark in my head. There's this pressure to have a good attitude and be positive. It doesn't come from any one person. Some is probably internal, but I also know if I let myself get too amped up and this isn't the end, it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks. Even my initial diagnosis came gradually. I got my bad news in small doses, so I had time to process. If I show up in December, and the cancer isn't gone, that news is coming in one big dose, and I can't let that wreck me. Realistic expectations are what's gotten me this far. Prepare for the worst and all that. 

For now, though, I'm done!