Just Because the Treatment Is Done...

Being done with treatment is a weird feeling. 

On one hand, it feels like a victory. I made it. I can't say I ever thought I was at the risk of not making it, but I'm told it's an accomplishment. I'm getting better and starting to feel more "normal."

On the other hand, I don't have much of a routine anymore. I don't even have the daily 15 minute radiation treatment to worry about. That's good for recovering, but I have to guard against parking it on the couch and getting lost in the world of Netflix. I tend to either have a lazy day of rest and Gilmore Girls marathons, or I get super ambitious and sort of overexert myself thinking I'm ready for shopping and errands and cooking and then I'm wiped before dinner time. 

Yeah, I still don't have the energy of pre-cancer Daanielle. Even when I'm feeling energetic, I fight the digestive battle some days, and I have to gauge the amount of sitting I'll have to do. I randomly feel nauseous. Not like I'm actually going to throw up, but just like my stomach is displeased with my life choices. I had some bladder irritation issues, but those are getting a bit better. And hemorrhoids...Let me tell you, hemorrhoids are no fun. It was a perpetual catch 22 for awhile, there. If I ate too much fiber and healthy food, it came out in a hurry. Too little fiber, and it takes a lot more effort to pass...and all that straining makes the hemorrhoids worse. If you've never had the pleasure, pooping with hemorrhoids is like shitting broken glass. You're welcome for that. Hot flashes are also the worst, though, at the moment. They come on pretty suddenly, and while they last, it feels like I'm burning alive and the mere presence of clothing is too much. During the day, it's not as bad. As long as I'm home, I can chill in a tank top and underwear and just hang out with a light blanket if needed. At night, though, it's a constant cycle of lay down comfortably, get way too hot, kick off all blankets and reconsider pajamas, frantically grab blankets when the air kicks on, then get hot again, drink some ice water to cool down, go back to sleep, wake up freezing and then have to go to the bathroom. Lather, rinse, repeat. 

I've got about 2 weeks until my follow up appointment, so no new news outside of changes in side effects.